+Drowning+

In terms of flow (and judging from my mind), the current line is better than the swtichout. Somehow the swtichout doesn't sound complete, perhaps saying "Someone else is there" would work better.

For being written in 5 minutes, this is very nice. I especially like (minus the correct spacing here >.>)

Me:
Choking on air.
Drowning,
Screaming.

I personally like the strong desperation and fear (for me there's panic more than just fear) present in the imagery. The idea of choking on air just stays, and how it seems like this need for and desperate cry for help is an important/major part of you stays.

I also like how you tied the seaons into the third stanza. "You" seems like the sun (center of your world) with providing warmth in the summer and disappearing in the fall. It really seems to show how much you love "you" and want him back [trying to just stick the the parameters of the poem even though I do know who "you" is].

The last bit (sorta stanza thing?) ties in the familiar themes/references to disappointment and waking from a dream to find that reality sucks.

Overall I guess I like the use of emotions in this. You don't seem to write (or at least upload from what I can tell) a lot of poetry, but when you do, you have some really (feel free to repeat that a couple of times) good poetry.

I've tried to say something before, but I'm not good at consoling or comforting, and I don't think I should screw up a reasonably good comment with an attempt that will just fail. Emoticons might help a smidge, but I just don't end up helping you when I mean to. The only way I've helped people recently is to listen to them, but you have better friends to do that. I'm sorry.

[I'm having issues collecting at the moment so I thought I'd actually leave a good comment, and I'll collect later. Replying will lead to remembering to collect, and I'm sorry ahead of time if I forget, even if you do reply.]